Do You Have Every Day, Non-Negotiable Habits?

Do you have every day, non-negotiable habits?

I often see lists of non-negotiable habits that people share to either 'turn your life around' for the better, or enable mental health and wellbeing to be managed effectively. I have my own such list of daily habits, including exercise, meditation, focused study/work, and playing music. Perhaps you have a similar list?

But... What happens when those non-negotiable healthy habits that define us are taken away?

About 5 weeks ago I injured my knee in the gym. It hasn't really improved, and I've been told I may need surgery to try and fix it. For context, I'm a fit guy, and exercise has always been a part of my life, and a key element in managing my own mental health and wellbeing.

In my younger years, previous injuries and disruptions to my daily habits and routines have knocked me off kilter, deeply affecting my mood, emotions, and mental health.

'Resilience' as a term, has been around for a while now, so much so, there's probably even a bit of baggage associated with it. An example of which could be poor working conditions being disregarded because of a lack of employee resilience. I am not talking about victim blaming here.

At its simplest, true resilience is our ability to deal with the ups and downs of life. It involves facing reality, and springing back, despite genuine setbacks. It doesn't mean we don't grieve the unwanted/unexpected changes, of course we do, but it means we re-purpose and re-frame our challenges as foundations and fuel for a new, and possibly different future than we'd imagined. This isn't easy, but it can be learned, and everyone can do it.

I believe we experience only two kinds of change: wanted and unwanted.

I'm experiencing some unwanted change at the moment. Maybe you are too?

This is not about trying to promote a toxic form of positivity and by-pass trauma or the proper processing of emotions and grief. It's ok to not be ok. But at some point, your heart and mind are going to want a purpose assigned to your experience.

Questions we could ask ourselves when we’re ready are…

What is the gift or opportunity here? How do I turn this for good?

Our daily non-negotiable, life-giving habits can change in an instance. An aspect of our identity can be lost quite suddenly. Benefit finding and asking questions that turn the tables on our negative interpretation of events is not foolish or toxic.

Mounting research in Positive Psychology tells us that those who do this well are not delusional but are more resilient and have better mental health and wellbeing.

Wherever you are and whatever you're dealing with, I wish you better mental health and wellbeing.

If you would like support with any aspect of change you’re currently experiencing (wanted or unwanted), feel free to reach out for a no obligation chat.